Tuesday, September 25, 2012
2 Fat Black Ladies
So, also, there was a fat lady in a wheelchair in a yellow shirt at the doctor who I felt sorry for..
I also passed a black man and his little boy and felt uncomfortable but uninsulted. At the grocery.
I also passed a black man and his little boy and felt uncomfortable but uninsulted. At the grocery.
Ah!
I just got so mad. Something came up. Then, I thought of like someone being electrocuted mercilessly, like a cartoon, kinda like in "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure." I was mad and blamed that person for it! People are being mean to me if I get upset! Stop ruining my life! I was mad because someone made me hurt someone else, but I'm also mad that that person thinks they're hurt. I didn't want to think of someone being electrocuted. 8^. What does that mean for me? I am never mean to anyone. Some people are non-negotiable. I guess some people just don't want to figure out what to do. 8^. Well, I didn't want to hurt anyone, I just couldn't take the pressure I felt consuming me by this person, which is happening too much. Pretty much if I do anything unusual, I end up getting in trouble. I just have to keep fighting my way through not being submissive. What's going to happen to me if people keep making others attack me to where I have to do something! OH MY GOSH! What do you want me to do? Nothing? I didn't even really do anything, just a crazy thought.
Height Today
Today, I can stretch from 5'1" to 5'5" with my feet flat on the ground. :) Comfortable standing height. 5'4.5". :)
Tacky Things
Why are people noticing tacky things I do, now? It's not funny and not really that tacky! D: Wow, how can I learn anything? Just get bashed every time I mess up. How do these vibes seem to get going?
Well, I'm thinking of one thing, right now. Or two. Or something else, too. :(
Well, I'm thinking of one thing, right now. Or two. Or something else, too. :(
Dream
Also, a boy I knew, someone like him or pretending to be like him, which I dreamed before, wrote a book, just had the same first name. It was a big thing. There were some other things about it that were interesting.
Dream, I Mean Yesterday
For some reason, I've felt tacky and let things out since yesterday and am unhappy when these things happened.
I just noticed a few little things, and it was unintended or not like how things would happen. Well, then I had a big uncomfortable time. I blame my dad, but I hope it was unintentional. My parents can't constantly be at my back picking at this and that like they didn't have anything to do with it. :/ I'm quite depressed, as you can see, but I'll have to get over it somehow, like it was meant to happen but shouldn't have, really. Ever since that "n " word things, these things have to pop up in my mind, but I just hope they stop. I might still think of people as niggers in a way, but hopefully things won't be as bad.
Also, I don't really feel like dieting now. :/ I thought I was tired of what I was eating.
Oh well, I just have to accept it and figure there's a reason maybe. I mean, I guess. Things can change, if for the better. I hope that I haven't affected anyone's lives. ^9.9^
I just noticed a few little things, and it was unintended or not like how things would happen. Well, then I had a big uncomfortable time. I blame my dad, but I hope it was unintentional. My parents can't constantly be at my back picking at this and that like they didn't have anything to do with it. :/ I'm quite depressed, as you can see, but I'll have to get over it somehow, like it was meant to happen but shouldn't have, really. Ever since that "n " word things, these things have to pop up in my mind, but I just hope they stop. I might still think of people as niggers in a way, but hopefully things won't be as bad.
Also, I don't really feel like dieting now. :/ I thought I was tired of what I was eating.
Oh well, I just have to accept it and figure there's a reason maybe. I mean, I guess. Things can change, if for the better. I hope that I haven't affected anyone's lives. ^9.9^
Dream
I was like on the floor of a live movie-quality producion of a twisted "The Phantom of the Opera" or something like that. For some reason, Carlotta was represented as a head, and it was like shocking saying "Ooh, Carlotta!" Or just "Carlotta!" Her head was up above on a stick slowly spinning around. It as more like a sorta simple Greek goddess type version. It was pretty neat, but I don't remember.
I had another dream, hard to remember now. I was pretty tired, up a long time. Oh yes, I was in class. I got these 2 books for a history class I supposedly would succeed in. I had a paper in each one I think the teacher did as she gave them to us but skipped that one person. I think we like put up something that went up in public like for a class or something. Like we did something special I don't remember in the class. The last thing was like a slot machiner response, and I creatively did some repeats but not in perfect symmetry. Like, I remember you could chose a smiling gray animal with like a bow for istance, kinda glittery.
I had another dream, hard to remember now. I was pretty tired, up a long time. Oh yes, I was in class. I got these 2 books for a history class I supposedly would succeed in. I had a paper in each one I think the teacher did as she gave them to us but skipped that one person. I think we like put up something that went up in public like for a class or something. Like we did something special I don't remember in the class. The last thing was like a slot machiner response, and I creatively did some repeats but not in perfect symmetry. Like, I remember you could chose a smiling gray animal with like a bow for istance, kinda glittery.
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