Dream

Oh no! I have to wake up early tomorrow! I'm gonna eat, that'll help wake me up.

So, anyway, my dream last night, the thing how I say picking me up. It is a big deal to me, in general, but it was just something that happened in the dream. It was sorta a sweet story to follow, didn't actually experience it in its glory. So, what happened was, she was with these kids for some reason. I guess she was pretty feeling toward us all, but you know how some kids turn off happily, maybe the older ones. That confuses me because I should be like that, too, and I think I would be, like with the little girl in my dream or anyone, in real life. I don't know about being put under the lily pad and made to meditate on things like that. 8^. So, anyway, what it's like is basically I was already worked up kinda tired. I was tired in real life myself, I mean. I wasn't really worked up. In my dream, I was feeling a sense of nothingness.

You know, some people possess a certain status. Also, when people realize that it's not all about being picked up and carried, they'll realize the importance of physical touch in the form of cuddline.

So, yes, I guess it was a feeling of sympathy to me. It shouldn't be that important, but to me it is. Personally, it's something that happens I guess. Maybe, if I thought about it, it would mean more. I mean, it does. I guess it makes me feel uncomfortable, too.

I think it is more of a real thing. Like, I think it's about being touched. I know some people think of it like as a hug. It's not like carrying a kid while you're walking. It's something I guess we all feel. I know I always wanted to pick my brother up, but it was a bit different for us. It was a very complex feeling, but I can't recreate it. I have a picture. I am not supposed to post certain pictures.

I guess I feel I have it waiting that I'm gonna dream someone is picking me up, as I've had several. Some are more physical than others, perhaps more gratifying in some ways. I guess, with Ellen DeGeneres, I feel a sense of ... well, never very physical. It's just I'm involved and that's the sort of thing going around. Anyway, with her, you know, things don't like end so much, like you wake up all of a sudden. You have a sense she'll be back.

So, yes, basically, it's hard to touch on it. In real life, this wouldn't happen. I think these kinds of things should happen, but maybe people are too old and need to learn other things. I know you can get praised for being short. Why not pick up short people who are like young adults? So, when I dream of being picked up, I'm always about the size of the person picking me up unless I imagine I'm a kid. It's so funny, I keep going on about it.

However, if someone just holds your hand, it's a very romantic feeling with some kinds of people. If they pat you or put their arm around you, it can be gratifying, as well.

It's not the biggest deal in the world to me that I recieve certain treatment, but I'm trying to get the cream of the crop.

I guess what goes along with the feeling is that there's a lot going on in the world actually, and somehow it's like okay I'll just like cuddle you or just pick you up and go for a time. It never lasts, in this dream, and maybe it didn't happen much.

I feel funny when people question if I feel funny about them feeling things, too. I don't know what they feel. I wonder if we'll find out more, like dissecting in science.

I do question people who never feel anything. I feel a strong presence with my parents, but it doesn't make me feel very physical.

I'm finding that people don't really make up their mind in time about what they want, too. Sometimes, it depends on who I'm interested in.

This is kinda private, but I guess I should talk about it. So, I'm thinking Ellen DeGeneres is this big public figure. I've been obsessing over her going around Orlando jogging. So, I guess it's sunk in her robot at the Disney ride. I guess, normally, I wouldn't suggest this, but I'm sure the idea would come up. I think that these Disney rides, at least this one so far, have sunk in as reality, Ellen in the jungle. It might seem like the best thing in the world that could have happened, being on a Disney ride. So, I would say it was a show and not a story or something. I guess we can let it stand as that.

so, I thought, like if Ellen meets kids, I wonder why she doesn't pick those kids up. She should get more ordinary yet attractive kids. Those famous people are too big. I don't mean to be the one to break the ice, but Chloë Moretz was on her show. I guess I was anticipating what would happen. I don't know if they did anything, but they probably did backstage. She was with Johnny Depp. I think she was sitting closest to Ellen but with Michelle Pfeiffer, too, who was cool as Cat Woman and who is a few months younger than Ellen. I don't really know much about her, though. People in Tim Burton's movies tend to be the same, in some light, but you can tell they have amazing capabilities. She seemed fif different in "Dark Shadows." Chloë Moretz was pretty skinny. She seems to have taken on a more weighted, strong look. I miss the skinny Chloë. It seems all young people have changed today. They should still be small. I guess Chloë Moretz is my height. I'm a bit upset. I guess I'm pretty big. I'm probably as big as Ellen DeGeneres. I'm 5'3". I guess I did the wrong measurement. I'm mad because I was on a schedule where I was on the internet a lot and I was pretty petite in structure. I don't feel as overbearing now, more petite in a different way, thinner probably and stronger. Well, after I went to the mental hospital, the medicine made me tired more. I've been sleeping a lot lately, and so I got taller. I think that there was a big thing about like when you're younger not too be too big but not to be too small. I don't know if kids are planning for the future. I don't know why I was tall when I started 6th grade, neither, but I stopped growing after awhile when I felt bad. Anyway, I'm surprised I grew. I'm glad I did because I was supposed to. I never grew in the New Orleans area. Maybe, at 1st, I had. I'm glad I sleep, but I think it's the medicine and being treated badly that made me like this. It's okay, I mean. It's not fun being too short. Kate Bush is 5'3.5". So, I'm about her height. I met Orla Fallon, and she is probably, without heels, 5'. She was very skinny, when I saw her, and very alive but still. I'm pretty mad because I remember before when I was tall I was more respectful and was excited to see how tall I'd get. I'm not sure really what went wrong. I know there are some people who are really short, like under 5'. Most people today are 5'3"+. Oh boy! I found out I can sink to 5'1" and stretch up on my feet on the floor to 5'4". I'm pretty solidly built, a little fat, but not really. My legs are pretty supply built. They used to be longer but I don't know just how long. I think I'm too weighty and supple for someone to try to handle me. I'm trying to stretch my legs out of their sockets. I couldn't be happier. 3^)

Ellen DeGeneres is such a nice person. Why not get together with some worthy people?