Stimulating Kids

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I used to dream of picking up my daughter and how she would feel, kinda silly, for like planned hours every evening, unsure why because I guess I wasn't good at it. Well, I wanted a daughter with white hair, so not sure how that goes. I'm not ready to have kids. Sometimes, I pretend I have kids. It's funny, I used this idea a lot. You know, like a month or so. I didn't know if we were supposed to stimulate a certain area in a certain way. I'm not sure about it, like why we have to be stimulated in a place like that. I don't remember feeling anything there, and honestly I avoided touching my parents there for bad reasons. The good reason was I didn't want that to be the focal point. I ended up not feeling much. However, I felt an overbearing presence when my mom picked me up and when I was with her as a little girl before my brother was born but felt a certain presence after, as well. It's kinda satisfying to be older, in a certain way. I'm usually older than everyone in certain kinds of situations, you might say. I thought you got a certain feeling if you were the youngest. I guess I don't like feeling that way. I have thought about what it's like to be with people slightly younger. It's a good feeling I've felt, but I don't feel it at the time. I don't remember if I actually asked my dad if I should stimulate my kids in a certain areas. I think it went like you'd really stimulate them.