Ellen kept stuttering to a man with a disease where he stuttered after he was happy, like he was ... you know, a "nigger?" I don't associate that with him, just with what she did. She kept doing it, though, like as to torture him. I know, tonight, at the store, I thought I wanted to surround someone with words since just "nigger" wasn't enough for what was done to me. I guess she got him on a rapport, herself. Dunno what happened there. Maybe, it was like buttering him up for safety, and she knew he could stand it.
I really lost my "rapport," which, in a way, ultimately, doesn't matter, but those things aren't supposed to ever happen...
I don't know what's wrong with me. Before I left with my dad, I was okay. Then, my eyes popped out of my head, and I got mad because it was so insulting and pointless and controlling.
My mom told me never to get mad...
I still don't get some things, and they like loom over me as topics I could think about. They're not physically over me, though, like some things are outside of me. :/
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