Saturday, September 29, 2012

Up North

Why are people up north so safe? I think in L.A., too.

The Master Race

I guess some people will never have to experience the offsets of a certain race and will rule as the master race, no matter what.

Asians|The Chinese..

Why don't they look so good .. anymore?

Wrong pictures?

This is cool!

Tribute

Practicing

Now, awake, I have this feeling that's like milky and feminine and sweet in a spot where before it was tingly,w ell, metally. I still feel a bit agitated and hungry and am not sure how I'm supposed to eat.

HELP!

Now, when I think of my kids, I think of the inklings others have with my grandma! This is so stupid!

STOP

Stop making a project out of me because of the "n" word thing and makingme waste my breath fighting you.

Being Cool

Why do people think some people can't be cool? Is it all the Native American indians?

Tactual

Do you ever act tactful around people who have been hurt, recently?

Thinking for Yourself..

What do you think about how some people are always wrong and threatenening you? Tp always listen to them?
Contest

"Ellen's Universe of Energy"

I should have filmed this before.

You know the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride???? I liked it better before.

Inconvenience

I just realized other kids think it's funny when I'm not ready to "prove a point" to older people, but I wonder "what" that point is.

Unfair Judgement

People treat me differently when all evidence leads to the opposite. :|

This isn't anything some people really need to hear. Who will listen to me. I may as well try and find a job, hopefully at Disney World! :0

I know there are supposedly lots of jobs in Disney, but I don't think so. I'm trying to lose weight and think I could get hired, but we didn't go to the grocery store yet, and I'm getting hungry for something else, so.. not sure who long it il take.

Tim Burton

Would he be as mean to anyone else? He has a dominantly Jewish girlfriend with 2 kids. Why would he be racist? :p

White People

I can trick people. So, white people think that they're all flowers and happiness, but in reality they aren't.

Here's a good site.

Site

Dream

Now, I remember... :S

I guess I was in a room, and my mom kept coming in and talking to me, like twice. I wanted to feel stimulated. I woke up, and my dad made a noise, like blew his nose twice, and I didn't feel stimulated. Well, I've not been feeling well but still stimulated.

So, also, I was in school.

I wanted to feel stimulated in a way I used to, though I'd really rather not at all. I wanted to because I felt a car in Orlando roared by and convinced me I had to do it, eventually, like in some way.

So, I noticed I'm 5'2". I don't know what that means. I wonder if I'll stay a kid longer.

My left eye is like sorta harder. Like, it sorta sticks out.

So, I was with some friends in college who were a year older.

Ellen's Universe of Energy

So, I watched it, and I thought of people who didn't do things before that I did who are now like overly into them.

I watched the parade, and I was thinking of things you might guess, too.

Ellen's Universe of Energy

When I went on it, I think I was in the front row.

Key West

We went to Key West again when I was 19, and I went on the ghost tour with my little cousin, a girl, 5 1|2 years younger.

Oh, now, I remember, I thought I was on top of this, but I got so scared even she couldn't help.

Making a Point

Just because of the "n" word thing, my parents are getting in the dirt finding things to talk about. Like, how they act. Like, if I make a point, they explode. Like, if it means I'm good in a weird way.

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

I don't work, and I used to watch TV. However, when we moved, I stopped, for some reason. I felt bad about the homeworka nd didn't want to exercise. I didn't have time to practice piano, but that was my college major.

Oh, btw, I eat so strictly because I almost got Diabetes. It just makes me feel jittery. I mean, I could eat moderately, but I guess I just went all the way. I hope I find something other than oatmeal. I want to find seeds at the store and am afraid of all the spices on Triscuits. I know there are those natural crackers that are really stale. I should probably have that. I probably have to go to Whole Foods, which my parents don't shop at, much at all.

So, I was wondering about people who watch her shot. I mean, since like the late 90s, you had the opportunity and option to post online. Don't get mad if someone else does. D:} Also, I realize that people come on and don't end up posting what they think they will. I'm not sure about me, but I know I'm excited about the internet! :D It's a bit unbelievable, but I took it in stride for what it was and not for grated. I've been posting awhile, so maybe I'm getting some practice in?

Musings

So, anyway, I was thinking, like, I already mentioned this yesterday. Like, I think kids are supposed to do certain things. However, they want to literally prevent other people from doing them. }:( I think it's just because of the "n" word thing, though, and am mad because I won't know how things really are... when they really are? So, anyway, I think it's still a prevailing issue. It doesn't make sense. I don't know how they got there. Maybe, it is funny I ever watched what I watch, which has mostly been "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." I wanted to go out and get a job, but because of the "n" word thing and other things I was unable to. Now, my mom said to just volunteer. I lost my papers to volunteer at the museum. So, I dunno, maybe I will look for them but not sure if I have them. I think I signed up to volunteer at 2 other places. One is like social work. The other is a weekly bar doing wrist bands or construction at a movie theater.

Also, I contacted Walt Disney World about knowing when there is an opening to work at Ellen's Universe of Energy. However, I don't know how good I would be. You'd have to be contatined. Also, they probably do not favor people with black hair. I don't know what to do about my hair. I should jog in the day more. It used to be lighter, even when I didn't jog in the day. I took more baths for a long time, sometimes hours, days in a row. It even used to have little white highlights and like light reddish tints a lot. Once, it was straight and like a light reddish color, but I got rid of the picture thinking more would come. I hadn't taken a shower for a few days. This was in 2008. I remember also it used to have a maroon tint. However, it was more see-through, then, anyway, as it's been a lot of my life.

It's just the base is so dark. It's kinda nice, but it seems a bit fake, in some ways. I guess I'm getting uncomfortable. I mostly wish it was lighter growing up and my eyes. Sure, being dark can be cute, but why just keep getting darker?

Today might be a good day to stay home, not sure why.

So, my hair. I will make a conscious effort to jog during the day. Also, I need something in my room so I can watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" over and over, like in my leisure.

Jogging in the day lightens it pretty quickly, for some reason. Sometimes, it's smooth. I wish it were bouncy.

I'm glad I'm getting thinner from strict dieting and working out. I wonder how much "fake meat" they have at the grocery store, the health store, Whole Foods. I don't really feel like not eating meat, though. I grew up having a lot of chicken. Maybe, I should get more fish and beef. Maybe, at some point, I will be a vegetarian. I kinda don't feel the need to have meat other than fish. I don't really understand how you could go vegan without being very strict or having like unusual opportunities. I haven't had milk much growing up, so ... that's what I drink, now. I should have more tea, too. I was having that for awhile but not like 3 kettles like I heard someone said on the Soapbox on IMDb. I guess fake meat makes sense and is admirable and supplementary. I should probably get some. I used to like soy burgers. I don't know about the ingredients, but Whole Foods sells natural products.

...

My Parents

So, I wonder why my parents treat me a certain way. If I didn't feel racist against, I bet I'd be perfect. I don't know, I guess I still have problems, but find that everyone is different.

...

Watching Out

I'm feeling better, but I'm worried my parents will be mad at the language I picked up. I just feel a certain way about being called a nigger and did happen to post on my blog that I was thinking of that word when people were racially cruel, like to me usually.

As a Baby

My brother couldn't escape what I escaped, neither.

I guess I just wanted to make sure I was smart or something. I wanted to like be a good person, but I guess I couldn't "stay a baby."

I don't feel like going anywhere, now. :( I don't feel like sleeping until midnight, which is kinda what I want to do.

Me as a Baby

I think I was mistreated as a newborn. As an infant, I think I was treated funnily. I think I had a hard time in the womb. In another way, I appreciated it. :|

Yes!

I finally was able to feel the way I wanted without feeling weird in some way! :0 I like feeling weird, though.

I've also discovered that I was mistreated by other people as a baby, in very bad ways, like made to feel stimulated, for who I was, like I'm not even a person. Couldn't that happen to anyone? Or am I just trash that needs to be left alone!?

How I'm Feeling

I feel better after going to the bathroom.

I also realize, my parents have to live disillusioned that they could be offset as I was, if I had to. I'm not shit. :|

My Parents

I wonder if my dad is even home. It looks like my mom might not be home, neither, but I don't know. Sometimes, she says good night to me.

Dream

The laundry is running. I slept with the music on and am tired. I wanted to have an active day. }:(

So, I was at school and it seemed people wanted me to take Religion mostly. I was gonna and was told I couldn't audit and to try theater. It was a lady in the area who teaches diction.

I guess I walked over somewhere else and was trying to get a computer.

Do you think my parents are overreacting in private to me getting mad and not trying to do it to them?

So, yea, it was an okay dream. It seemed pretty exciting, though, but I guess I wasn't feeling as good as I could.

I did diet and work out and looked better but don't feel as pure as before I stopped my diet for a meal.

I'm mad because I'm trying to have things go smoothly, and apparently no one cares. I felt so bad and couldn't write, really. I don't want to go back and change what I wrote. Now, what will my parents do? Keep beating anger out of me? They may not care since I was feeling that bad, but they'll probably do something perverted, like think about it at all and like not go on with life as they should.

Lie!

The U.K. isn't on THE LIST. WHAT A LIE!

A Small List

It's a small list.

Suspicious

Why is the bottom of my viewers lised as South Korea and the top Russia?

D:{

I was having a good day. Stop making fun of me and treating me like shit.

Gay

Also, my parents like the laundry room opened, but my mom set me to not like it, like sorta makes noises that somehow affect me. She's so annoying. }:(

They take things too seriously that don't matter and only care about themselves. They will smile at you but underhandedly do something to affect you.

I don't care how antsy you people are, you're not worth it. You're not really smart. }:( I'm tired of people I don't like predicting my thought patterns. I told you you were wrong to do certain things at certain times, and you went ahead and did them anyway and then said they were bad to me. You are so worthless. I will not do this. Do not hold me acocuntable for my feelings.

Mistakes

Also, I was feeling good, just now, very good, and caring, and I was just treated like crap and given messages about the past. I WILL NOT STAND THIS. I know my dad is the one doing this. Take him in. He doesn't do this to other people.

I lay on my couch just a few hours ago, and a cycle of thought like sleep, and then I was in bed sorta holding in those thoughts.. now, I lost the concreteness of it and feel sorta knocked out mercilessly, was just recovering from the week. How gay is this? I went ot eh store with my dad one day for like a few stores fora few hours, could have k alled if he cared, Now, I had a hard week. My dad was gay and staye dhome and got sick just because I hit things a little hard, too. Someone get him!

...

Everything was supposed to be okay now. Now, I feel awakened. My parents are worthless. They strip me of my dignity and ability to talk now, too., I don't want to post about this.

Very Hurt

My mom was like totally worthless, making stupid noises at the laundry, to torture me. She just has no poise and wants to get back at being mean to me. I will not listen to people trying to punish me for it. Don't waste your time, and just go away. You're not worth it. Not at all, you stupid loser. It really bothered me. My parents are gay and obsesssed with treating me like other kids and not letting me ever feel good. I feel really bad at how my parents are fascinated with controlling me like I'm stupid. How can my mom manipulate how I feel as though I were just worthless? LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU STUPID PEOPLE! I was gonna have my dad comment on my blog, but now I won't remind him. No one cares about their feelings. I was tring to sleep!

I want to feel good, not perverted. Stop making up things.

Niggers

My parents are torturing me.

I was mad yesterday, but I explained. It doesn't matter, but it wasn't that bad.

My mom like set me off yesterday and today, the washing machine on, and it's so annoying, even with ear plugs.

I'm getting weird messages from other people and people are interfering with relationships I've made, constantly!

My parents won't let me off on things, and I can't get things stuck out of my ead, so why not stop them?

Also, I don't believe in taking away good things from me because it happened when someone made me really mad.

Give it a rest on the "n" word thing. Don't make me fight about it. Just leave me alone.

...

I was trying to sleep, too. This is so gay. Now, I feel really bad, wound up. Why wind me up? No one cares about me and my future.

Hair Color

I've met lots of people I like with black hair but also otherwise. Blue or brown eyes, I think. My dad has blue eyes and black hair.

Calming Down

Do you know people who don't calm down when things go wrong?

Disney Rides

So, I was watching the Haunted Mansion on YouTube, and from L.A., it mdae me like scared all over my louneg paants. Only for a moment. =}

I don't know about theone in Orlando.

:) Also, I'm happy about working out because when I was younger I didn't work out every day. Ia' also on a strict diet.

I thought you were supposed to get scared on the Haunted House. I guess if I went there, it'd be more fun. :|

I was really scared the whole time, tough, watching Ellen's Energy Adventure. Or Universe of Energy. I guess it took awhile for me to get the drift. I think I was like gonna explode. I was scared of Ellen, and I was scared of the dinosaurs. That's funny. I have a friend whose parents are born 45 years before her, and she said Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka scared her, though her and my old friend were into "Pirates of the Caribbean."

I find that I easily have fun thinking of other poeple, myself. I mean, it's fun, but I will also accept a point wholeheartedly, realizing it may occcuer to me.

I suppose to could resensitize me. Then, I'd get scared.

I think I was scared of Ellen's ride even before I went in, knowing about the dinsoaurs, too. I guess I was really agitated, nervous, and irritated about it. I went in, and it was actually scarier than I imagined. Constant roaring and fighting, in your presence! Looming over you as you pass by. Then, you see Ellen there. It's along ride.

So, does Ellen DeGeneres like younger kids or odler kids? I was wondering because younger kids look old-fashioned. They're not much like Ellen, for some reason.

I think that people should realize who they are and stuff. I mean, I'm always doing that, but people tend to think I'm not. D*:

Disney

When I was 10, I went on the Haunted Mansion with my dad and aunt and other relatives. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do, and I remember my aunt put her arm around me. When we saw the Electrical parade, which now only shows in other Disney parks, she asked if I wanted to sit on her shoulder|s. She said the same thing in Key West I think, when I was a teenager. To see a band perform. I only went out in New Orleans once, and that was when my aunt visited. I lived in the area all as a teenager, 12-18.

When I went on Pirates of the Caribbean, the drop didn't scare me at all, but it terrified everyone else. I don't know why, but it was the frist ride I|we picked after Swiss Family Robinson. :|

I think the scariest ride is either Splash Mountain or Ellen's Energy Adventure. I'm not really that scared of the roller coasters.. They're my favorites. I haven't yet been on a roller coaster ride that scared me a lot, but I've seen one. When I went to a water park in New Orleans, I went on the scariest slide without any hesitation, maybe more than once, and had a blast. I don't even go on most festival rides. I hate that boat ride. It's always a big ordeal. I sorta made fun of people for not liking the ferris wheel, but now I can't stand it.

On my birthday, http://christina--barrett.blogspot.com/2012/05/disney-world-for-my-26th-birthday.html.

So, why do I get scared on the Ellen ride? Because it's Ellen! Well, it was really because of the dinosaurs, but I think it's also because of Ellen. Her mom is yougner than my dad's mom, though.

So, when I was at the Haunted Mansion, I think we were thinking of taking the exit, and I kinda was looking at it, and I guess my aunt said it was too late.

Something else funny, is I swerve around, increasingly, as I think of stimulating others. That says it all, there, in and of itself. :)

So, what do you think of people with younger parents? I find them to be more stimualted and sensitive and contained.. :| I can't think ... wait, my parents have ol I mean younger parents and are older.

So, I noticed something interesting about how old Ellen DeGeneres's mom was when she was born.

Did you realize that your female part could have existed before someone older than you's other part?

I guess, Ellen DeGeneres would seem a lot older if your mom was born in like 1980..

That would be funny. I don't think I'd show all of my kid to her because I feel more like her kid. Do you know what that kid would feel like from me? 8^o

...

So, what do you think of people of the generation where they look bubbly? Hm. I notice that they take to people born around 1959.. Ellen DeGeneres is born in 1958. I notice concretely taht. these said bubbly people are born 2|3 years before me and that the people a year younger also are a certain way. People are like my age are like ... Amanda Bynes and Brittany Snow and the boy in "The Santa Claus," who is a day older than me, the other 2 girls being older than me by months. I'm older than the Olsen twins by about 20 days. I think people younger than me are into things like Angry Birds and Anime, like of various ages. I guess it stops at some point, maybe around my brother's age. :6 I know that poeple like to baby oeo born around 1984. 8^. It's hard for me to think otherwise. Okay, so think about kids born around 1994? I mean, does that mark a certain point? Maybe, that's women who have kids older. It seems they keep thinking there's a slope, like it stops at my age. That kinda disturbs me because my mom is Chinese-Inodnesian. I used to get jealous of the little kids when I was 6, in Northeastern Florida. I don't understand why people think I'm tackily Chinese. Maybe, my mom does have hidden desires, but I don't! What would that be passed on to me? It might be good for you, but you don't have to do it. People who are Eurasian tend to back|shy away from me. They tend to want to be Asian and the ones who don't have indian.

I need to go to bed soon, another busy day awaits!
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