My Life

I learned a lot in my life, but other people seem to know what I should do.

I guess people just don't understand the incredible racism faced on me that messed up my thinking. I was pretty safe.

It's like I never really lived and was always considered menial to others.

I don't like how people are onto me privately like I'm a bad person, like boring into me painfully.

I guess in Orlando, there are a lot of people from up north.

I never had a chance and was judged for being weird, basically.

Maybe, it's because I didn't write to my cousin, but I thought my mom made me forget. I don't want her to get in trouble for influencing me and not making my life comfortable, while other people are spoiled dumb.

My parents pretty much just lived pressuring me making me feel watched and stuff like I didn't have to live, not interacting with me, not letting me be with others much at all, feeling mocked all the time. I probably wasn't comfortable at conception.

I hope that people who were interested in me learn to back off my case. Obviously, people are not perfect.

Well, I find I am still in the same place and wish that people would get along and get what they want in life.

I am hoping that I can eradicate my position somehow. I couldn't finish college nor think to change my major.

I don't believe in reminding me of things constantly that I didn't do on purpose. Like, things are so important that I mess up on and so personal. That just doesn't make sense. I know people who make mistakes for wrong reasons, not like because they are crazy.

People know people get insulted for being on my side, cut to the quick like it's nothing and there's no point fighting back.

I just need to be independent, but I don't feel healthy yet and am unsure of when and how I will. I am not sure what work-outs will work well enough for what I'm used to like growing up as a young person, the same challenges.

People want to submit to my parents discplining me like in signals rather than openly letting me say I fixed myself, too, and that's just wrong, you know, the way they do that, too.

So, yes, I wish my life went better and that I didn't owe anyone anything.

I guess I'm just mad that I didn't remember to write my cousin back, maybe because I had problems. It seems that's affected my self-esteem.

I pretty much have been a pretty private person. I don't know if it was the influence of others, but I built myself some sort of personality, I think. Basically, I kept to myself from earlier on. As time went on, things became nostalgic, though, and I used to wave and say hi to people and it was neat. I guess what pained me post was wearing glasses and like getting fatter, which I got glasses first. I was in pain even before the incident I mentioned...

I guess I don't know what influenced me to be who I was. I am so mad that it's as though I didn't do it myself, but the truth is I did. See, I was like I was before, and then I changed into someone else. I changed back, again, more improved, but it was't for the reasons you'd think. It's too bad I don't have the right pictures. I had some videos, too, from a hurricane, not sure where this material would be.

I realize that others's lives have sucked, as well, and I am sorry for this and wish them better. I know that pretty much life for others has been based off the fact I messed up, too, but I'm all for people being rewarded and living, never too old.